WTH

I finally caved.

I bought my 13 year-old daughter a cell phone. She’d been asking for one for what seemed like an eternity. So after she fulfilled the many prerequisites my husband and I had given her, we agreed she had earned it. Keep in mind most of her friends have had one since they were oh, 9 or 10 (why again does an 9 year-old need a cell phone?).

And in the three weeks she’s had it, I don’t think I’ve seen her actually talk to anyone on it more than once. What’s she doing? Two words: text messaging. And not just a little. After having her prized possession for less than a week, she had sent and received a total of 1,000 text messages. I swear.

Now me, I hate text messaging. I think it takes entirely too long. You have to scroll through all those letters and numbers. If you go too fast, you pass your letter. If you take too long, you're all over that “clear” button. Which I can never find and invariably end up accidentally going back to the main menu. But my daughter? She could win a fastest finger competition blindfolded. And then there’s all those acronyms. WITW

I never would have guessed that her generation would glom onto text messaging as they have. I assumed they’d never have the patience. Turns out patience wasn’t even an issue. Which got me thinking about how dangerous it is for us as marketers to make assumptions. The fact is, our world is changing. We can’t assume anything about what our customers think, how they feel and how they consume media. With an ever-expanding list of digital media and new technologies available to us, it can be hard to keep up and make smart choices. But if we’re going to create successful movements in the marketplace, we’ve got to lead the charge. HITAKS

I Don't Know

So I’m supposed to write this blog. But I have no idea what to write about. I know it has to have a lot of keywords like Apple, Nike or sex so the search engines find it. It should have something to do with marketing or advertising (this includes print, television, radio, outdoor, interactive, guerrilla, and a host of others) so my agency gets some exposure. And it needs to be entertaining. Go figure.

I could write about marketing directors but you’ve already read all about them. Maybe I could critique some recent advertisements? Nah, everyone does that. Oh, I know, what about advertising’s role in Corporate America?

WTF

Here I am, struggling to find a way to help my agency stand out in an oversaturated, cynical marketing world. It’s the same thing I do for my clients every day. But it’s easier to do it for them. Maybe it’s because I have an outside perspective on their business and I can be objective.

Maybe Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie or Cindy Margolis knows.

--Chris Tschantz

Blah + Blah = More blah

I remember when mission statements were the fashion of the day. Their purpose, or rather should I say their mission, was to clearly communicate what the company hoped to accomplish. In just a short paragraph, the thinking was that clarity would emerge for those who were not aware of the doctrine of their paycheck providers. Unfortunately, people can rarely divine meaning from corporate speak. To see first hand the absurdity of mission statements, check out  http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/bin/ms.cgi

Now I find myself walking into companies and nonprofits that feel compelled to hang brand positions on banners. I suppose brand statements are now more “current” than mission statements. And, once again, the paragraph has reemerged to bring some semblance to what a company's widgets or services are supposed to mean.

Blame committees, management or simple ignorance, but a paragraph or a page of text will never define why you make widgets or service gizmos. When it comes to explaining purpose, only simplicity will do. If more than four words are required, start again. Think of virtually anything with staying power and you will find simplicity of purpose.

LET IT BE. PLEASE.

Dear Beatles (both living and dead),

On behalf of the entire advertising industry, I want to express my sincerest and deepest apologies. It seems that we have crossed the line of decency. The line of morality. The line that separates right and wrong.

It seems that we have found it acceptable to use your music – the music that started a movement and changed rock and roll – to sell stuff.

Earlier this year Target came out with their “Hello, Good buy” campaign. A pun-filled retail piece of garbage that I thought this fine company was above doing.

And now there’s Luvs’ act of criminal behavior. In their latest commercial, they are using your song, “All You Need Is Love” to sell their diapers. Of course, in the interest of a little brand recognition, your lyrics were altered read to “All You Need Is Luvs.” (Ugh.)

Tell me guys: When you were writing this song were you envisioning a half-naked toddler wrestling a teddy bear? When you penned that chorus, were you thinking of flexible Velcro?

I didn’t think so.

Which brings me to my first big objection to the use of this song.

When a piece of music is used in a commercial, it loses its original meaning and identity forever. With one airing, it goes from piece of art to jingle. And that’s just irresponsible on our part.

Granted, some songs are pretty light in the “art” category, which makes their inclusion in a commercial less offensive.

But your songs? The songs that changed and shaped a generation? They’ve got plenty of meaning and artistic relevance. And I don’t want them forever linked with a kid in a dirty diaper.

As a music lover, the Luvs ad deeply offends me.

But it also offends me as an ad guy. As a rule, I’m not real keen on using popular hits in marketing. It’s borrowed interest. It shows a lack of imagination on the agency’s part. (Isn’t imagination what we’re paid for?) And, more often that not, it’s just a veiled attempt to make a weak idea seem strong.

So John, Paul, George and Ringo, on your behalf, I send out a challenge to all advertisers.

Let’s be original

Let’s be sensitive to culture and history and art.

And let’s listen to the Luvs jingle the way it was meant to be.